Talbia Tanvir, a 23-year-old Bangladeshi student who got the opportunity to shadow the Danish ambassador to Bangladesh for a day, tells Neebiir Kamaal about the challenges women face on a daily basis and how the experience changed her life
The true essence of women’s empowerment can be a difficult thing to understand, sometimes, even for women. Remember Mrs Sommers? The protagonist of Kate Chopin’s classic short story A Pair of Silk Stockings (1896)? A wife and a mother, Mrs Sommers was quite baffled when she found herself to be ‘the unexpected possessor of fifteen dollars’ one day. Conflicted, whether to spend the money to buy things for her children or herself, she chooses the latter. Buying a pair of silk stockings, fitting gloves, lunch at an upscale café and catching a show at the theatre made her feel empowered, even if only for a few hours.
Times have changed since then. Women have ventured into almost every field imaginable, including diplomacy. In order to mark the occasion of International Women’s Day on March 8, the Danish embassy in Dhaka organised a competition titled ‘Shadow Ambassador for a Day’ for young Bangladeshi women. The winner of the competition was offered a unique opportunity to shadow Hanne Fugl Eskjær, the Danish ambassador to Bangladesh on International Women’s Day.
Out of the 200 applicants who took part in the contest, Talbia Tanvir, a 23-year-old student of Economics from North South University, emerged as the winner. The competition was designed with the aim of offering a sneak peek into the career of a diplomat, so that young women are encouraged to pursue a career in this field.
Talbia had to answer three questions that were posted on the Facebook page of the Danish embassy in Bangladesh: if she won the competition how would it affect her life, what are the major challenges that Bangladeshi women face, and the last question being, how she would promote Bangladesh if she were the Bangladeshi ambassador to Denmark.
After winning, in one day, Talbia’s life has changed to a great extent. So much so that she is currently considering a career in diplomacy. ‘Like almost any other business student, my plan was to get a big corporate job. But this one day has completely changed my perspective, I’m now seriously considering the life of a diplomat,’ says Talbia, who is majoring in economics and finance. Perhaps a change in Talbia’s career aspirations or no change thereof might not matter as much. What might matter more is whether she can carry the sense of empowerment that this ‘one day’ has brought to her and build on it, a feat that Mrs. Sommers could not achieve in the late nineteenth century society portrayed by Chopin. In the negotiation and bargain for her rights in a largely patriarchal societal system, where does the modern young Bangladeshi woman stand today? And what are the most pressing issues that a young woman should be aware of? Talbia Tanvir shares her thoughts with New Age Youth.
Beyond special days and headlines
The International Women’s Day makes headlines in the media around the world. But amid the frenzy of big events and conferences, are the goals of women’s empowerment, and the issues that really matter, go neglected in all the other days? The corporate biased world system glorifies special days that sell merchandise and services, but once the special day has passed, what happens?
‘The International Women’s Day is a wonderful initiative. For me, every day is a woman’s day, but March 8 is one day that we particularly celebrate being women. But we also should make sure that people who devotedly work on the empowerment of women round the year get the proper recognition,’ says Talbia.
Role of marriage
In the Bangladeshi context, analysing the progress of women’s empowerment is incomplete without examining the role of marriage in every girl’s life.
‘Bangladesh has one of the highest rates of child marriage in the world. On top of that the government has now legalised marrying off girls at the age of 16 if parents consent. This was done so that the horrifying statistics look a bit better on paper. No girl deserves to be married off at 16. Even when the legal marriageable age was 18, there were enough problems, as girls would be forced to marry at a lower age than that. Now that the bar has been lowered to 16, they could even be married off at 10, as this strengthens the disastrous trend of child marriages. So my conscience does not allow me to support this change in policy,’ Talbia says.
How united are the young women in society?
‘I don’t think women in Bangladeshi society are supportive enough of each other’s success. I think men are more supportive of a woman’s success than women themselves. This innate need to compete among each other that is present in women is holding us back,’ says Talbia.
Moreover, young Bangladeshi women still do not stand unitedly behind causes that matter. Talbia stresses that girls could have been more vocal against issues like lowering marriageable age.
Is quota system beneficial to women in the long run?
Different countries in the world have come up with special quotas for women in different fields, especially in politics, to ensure more participation from women. In Bangladesh, there are currently 50 reserved parliamentary seats for women.
But is the quota system actually helping women in the long run? Are they getting the opportunity to learn and grow as politicians through different challenges? Will women be more encouraged to seek out reserved seats than to start working from grassroots level and win contested seats at parliaments? The idea can apply to fields other than politics as well.
In her response to this debate, Talbia says, ‘Any kind of quota system goes against merit. Even though for the short term, quota system works out fine, as they are encouraging more women to join politics, but when you logically think about it, I think it is more harmful than beneficial to women in the long run. I feel that women should not be given something simply because they are women, but it should be based solely on merit. This would give them real confidence that they have earned it. It is important that women join in politics. And in the quota system, there is of course room for doing a lot of good work. But women politicians in quota system might not be free to execute their ideas after all, as she might feel obligated to do as her political party leaders, who selected her, ask her to do.’
Independence and safety
Talbia also stresses that two of the biggest challenges that young women face today is the need to be independent, and the lack of safety in different walks of society. ‘As long as what we choose to do is ethically correct, we should not have to answer to anyone or provide an explanation for the choices we make. This is why, cultivating a sense of independence is really important. Moreover, women are just not safe enough in our society, that needs to change,’ she concludes.